WARNING: While I've tried to avoid specific numbers and statistics and such, this page makes references to specific eating disorder symptoms (particularly purging) that may be triggering or upsetting to some readers. If you'd prefer not to view this page, press backspace or click HERE to return home.
Daily ED Routine:
- Wake up from a restless sleep at 3 AM.
- Stumble to the bathroom. Pee, strip, step on the scale. Log it in LoseIt!
- Plug it into a BMI calculator.
- Lie back down and watch YouTube until you pass out.
- Dream about food and your body.
- Wake up for good at 8 AM. Once again, pee, strip, step on the scale. Plug it into a BMI calculator. This is the real result. The one that will determine your mood for the rest of the day.
- Breakfast. You used to skip it, but then you realized you typically binged later if you did. So you have either one slice of toast (102kcal) or a Babybel cheese (70kcal). The protein in the Babybel tends to be the most helpful.
- Drive to outpatient. The half hour that you spend listening to music in your car on I-295 is the most peaceful of your morning.
- Arrive at program. Immediately head for the Keurig. 3kcal for each cup of coffee. Necessary to suppress your appetite. Plus the warmth tricks your stomach into thinking you're eating.
- Sit through round after round of group therapy, half paying attention. You've been through all this before.
- 4:30 finally comes around. Time to leave. Another half hour of music, at least.
- Home. You take to your computer, diving into one of the many "pro ana" forums that've sprung up since the "community" was chased off of regular social media platforms.
- The name sounds terrible. It's just that your head is always full of thoughts about food, calories, weight, body shape, and on and on and on....The people on these sites share your morbid sense of humor. They're seemingly the only ones who understand, who can share in the pain without shoving ReCoVeRy down your throat.
- Dinner. Your mom makes one of her usual recipes. She gives you a normal-sized portion, and you carefully measure it and pick at it and look up the nutrition information that you've already memorized. Your family doesn't even say anything about it anymore. They pretend it's normal. You all prefer this over the arguing.
CHOOSE YOUR ADVENTURE!
> Restrict for the rest of the night.
> Give in to your body's craving for energy.
> I'm tired of this!