i spent my formative years in constant fear of hell
believing that i'd suffer eternally for not following what some old dead cishet white dude said i should
then i learned what GOD really is
and is not
he certainly is NOT in control of any goddamn thing in my life
and i learned
that hell is the Earth
and that hell is a state of mind



^ this is a page that I created months ago.

I don't necessarily agree with it now.

In the past few months, even before I created this page, I've been going through a sort of spiritual journey. To be honest, I've always hated Christianity. I wasn't forced into it by my atheist parents, but still feel the pressure of it pushing down on me constantly through Our Society (insert Ross Geller Joker).

When I say "I hate God," I mean it partly in an edgy and rebellious way, and partly in a sincere one. Not always, but much of the time, I do believe there is a God somewhere out there who created us in their own image. I believe they also have influence over much of our daily lives, but for whatever reason, choose not to exercise it most of the time.

Which cues me to bring back this image:

I am trying to find the answer to that. My wanderings have lead me away from more organized religions and into the spiritual practice of some sort of half-assed neopagan thing of my own devising, which I won't bore you with the details of. And now I'm hundreds of words in and have to admit that I have no idea what the point of updating this page was. Oh well.

*Cecil Palmer voice* More on this, if there ever is more for any of us.